Monthly Archive for April, 2009

Jesus Christ, Why Do Old People Hate Denim?

“It is the most unhappy people who most fear change.” –Mignon McLaughlin

First, Daniel Akst writes an op-ed in the normally respectable WSJ entitled “Down With Denim.” Then, George “Get These Kids Off Of My Lawn” Will writes an article also dissing denim. What is with old white dudes and their hatred of denim?

It isn’t even “conservatives.” Fred Fiske, a “senior” (har har har) commentary for NPR, did a piece a few weeks ago bitching that men don’t wear tuxedos anymore.

We don’t wear hoop skirts or knockerbockers anymore either. Why aren’t you complaining about that?

We get it, old people. You don’t like us. You don’t like our fashions, our hair, our music. You want us off your lawn. You don’t like our texting and our cell phones and our email. Guess what? You’re going to die and all of those things will remain.

And in 50 years it will be us that is complaining about the new generation. Unless we accept that email isn’t destroying communications, the internet isn’t evil, texting has it’s purpose in life, and a lot of rock and roll music is really good.

And also, Daniel Akst, I totally disagree that jeans only look good on the uber skinny.

Published on April 17, 2009 in Darwinism. 0 Comments

Madonna Eats Babies

“Frankly, I adore your catchy slogan “Adoption, not abortion,” although no one has been able to figure out, even with expert counseling, how to use adoption as a method of birth control, or at what time of the month it is most effective” –Barbara Ehrenreich

So Madonna is trying to steal another little poor black child and has been denied by the Malawian government.

I don’t think that rich parents automatically make better parents. There are plenty of great rich families and great poor families and shitty rich parents and shitty poor parents.

However, short of Madonna taking the kid back to her castle and tossing her on the rack and torturing her, I have a hard time seeing how the kid isn’t better off with Madonna.

The kid is living in an orphanage in Malawi. According to Wikipedia, Malawi has a “low life expectancy and high infant mortality.” It “depends heavily on outside aid to meet development needs.” 14.2% of the population has HIV/AIDS. There is a very high degree of risk for major infectious diseases, including bacterial and protozoal diarrhea, hepatitis A, typhoid fever, malaria, plague and schistosomiasis.” I don’t know what half those diseases are.

Madonna may not be the world’s best parent, but at least the kid won’t catch fucking plague.

Published on April 15, 2009 in Hodgepodge. 0 Comments

Pirates!

“The conspiracy theories have never had it better.” –Tom Segev

Wonkette is one of my favorite websites and always cracks me up. Like Jon Stewart, they are often better at political analysis then the talking heads. Here’s an example:

“Over Easter weekend while the rest of America was busy gaining 10 pounds eating ham and Peeps, President Obama occupied himself authorizing military action that left three Somali pirates dead and one kidnapped American captain alive. This feat of daring means that nobody can call Obama a pussy anymore.

A dumb liberal bleeding heart like Bill Clinton would have done the same thing as Obama, but somehow the Somalis would have been able to conquer an entire fleet
of naval destroyers and murder a dozen Navy Seals, making Clinton look like an
asshole.

And a wretched brainless warmonger like George W. Bush would have ordered the Navy to nuke the 18-foot lifeboat where the American captain was being held, just to show the pirates he was crazier than they were.

In sum, only a President Obama could have told the military to just make sure the captain didn’t die, and shoot if they had to. And in so doing, he has effectively ended all wars and conflicts around the world, because really who wants to mess with the US military when they don’t have a complete dingus as Commander in Chief anymore?”

It’s true. This went perfectly for Obama. He looked good, the military looked good, the US looked good. Almost too good…

Dun dun dun

Published on April 14, 2009 in The Gentle Art of Making Enemies. 0 Comments

How Reagan Destroyed Tradition Marriage

“Marriage is like life – it is a field of battle, not a bed of roses.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

Freakonomics has an interesting article about divorce and the business cycle. According to their data, divorce does not increase during economic downturns.

To me, this makes sense. Divorce is expensive, and not just the legal fees. A group of people who were paying for rent/mortgage/upkeep on one house must now fund two. Double the furniture. Increase in driving costs associated with shuttling kids back and forth (assuming kids exist in this marriage). Tons of other expenses.

Further, if I’m a stay at home mom/housewife and I’m considering getting divorced, that would mean I would now have to join the workforce to support myself. Assuming I’m a rational actor, I’m going to look at this shitty economy and say “I can hang out here for another year or two while the economy picks back up” (this, of course, assumes my husband isn’t a crazed psychopath or something).

I wonder why divorce declined in the 1960’s and has been declining since the 1980’s. Could it be that during times of increased conservatism, more people find marriage “morally” appealing? However, morally appealing doesn’t withstand the test of time and when the conservative “glue” disappears, so does marriage?

Published on April 14, 2009 in Dollars and Sense. 0 Comments

Don’t People Know How The Internet Works?

“Way before Watergate, senior administration officials hid behind anonymity.” -Bob Woodward

What people do on the internets when they think they are being “anonymous” never ceases to amuse me. Rosanna Pulido won the Republican primary for the House seat vacated by Rahm Emanuel. Since she’s got a snowballs chance in hell of winning, her apparently true purpose is to just be amusing.

You see, Pulido likes to post “anonymously” on the interwebs her secret racist, bigoted, and homophobic opinions. Well the internet isn’t quite as anonymous as she would like.

In fact, someone else has decided to put together a blog of all the idiotic things that she said in the comments on the website The Free Republic.

She has said things like:

“The TRUTH is, Obama will legalize 12-20 million ILLEGAL ALIENS, and THUS SELL THE BLACKS, His own Race BACK into slavery!

The Illegals coming over pretty much hate African Americans. He is going to unleash REAL racism upon his own people as they fight for jobs with the illegal aliens.

It has already happened in LA, just ask Ted Hayes!!”

And:

“Thanks for posting and verifing what we we thinking. BUT you missed something! A lot of those loans were made by Mexicans preying on Mexicans. Not white Americans preying on Mexicans. What is being exposed here is a diversion created by the Hispanics who want money at any cost and the corruption and culture they are bringing with them. They would sell swamp land in Florida to their own grandmother.

I lived in Mexico for a year as a missionary. I was ripped off the worst by the Bible students. It is so cultural to rip people off they do not see that it is wrong. It’s culture.”

And (in reference to Muslim men praying):

“It reminds me of my dog, smelling buts.”

Spelling errors hers of course.

H/T: Wonkette

Published on April 1, 2009 in The Gentle Art of Making Enemies. 0 Comments
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