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Monthly Archive for April, 2009

Jesus Christ, Why Do Old People Hate Denim?

“It is the most unhappy people who most fear change.” –Mignon McLaughlin

First, Daniel Akst writes an op-ed in the normally respectable WSJ entitled “Down With Denim.” Then, George “Get These Kids Off Of My Lawn” Will writes an article also dissing denim. What is with old white dudes and their hatred of denim?

It isn’t even “conservatives.” Fred Fiske, a “senior” (har har har) commentary for NPR, did a piece a few weeks ago bitching that men don’t wear tuxedos anymore.

We don’t wear hoop skirts or knockerbockers anymore either. Why aren’t you complaining about that?

We get it, old people. You don’t like us. You don’t like our fashions, our hair, our music. You want us off your lawn. You don’t like our texting and our cell phones and our email. Guess what? You’re going to die and all of those things will remain.

And in 50 years it will be us that is complaining about the new generation. Unless we accept that email isn’t destroying communications, the internet isn’t evil, texting has it’s purpose in life, and a lot of rock and roll music is really good.

And also, Daniel Akst, I totally disagree that jeans only look good on the uber skinny.

Published on April 17, 2009 in Darwinism. 0 Comments

Madonna Eats Babies

“Frankly, I adore your catchy slogan “Adoption, not abortion,” although no one has been able to figure out, even with expert counseling, how to use adoption as a method of birth control, or at what time of the month it is most effective” –Barbara Ehrenreich

So Madonna is trying to steal another little poor black child and has been denied by the Malawian government.

I don’t think that rich parents automatically make better parents. There are plenty of great rich families and great poor families and shitty rich parents and shitty poor parents.

However, short of Madonna taking the kid back to her castle and tossing her on the rack and torturing her, I have a hard time seeing how the kid isn’t better off with Madonna.

The kid is living in an orphanage in Malawi. According to Wikipedia, Malawi has a “low life expectancy and high infant mortality.” It “depends heavily on outside aid to meet development needs.” 14.2% of the population has HIV/AIDS. There is a very high degree of risk for major infectious diseases, including bacterial and protozoal diarrhea, hepatitis A, typhoid fever, malaria, plague and schistosomiasis.” I don’t know what half those diseases are.

Madonna may not be the world’s best parent, but at least the kid won’t catch fucking plague.

Published on April 15, 2009 in Hodgepodge. 0 Comments

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