Monthly Archive for July, 2009

Epic Laziness Leads To Exploiting Children

“If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person – they will find an easier way to do it.” -Unknown

I’m trying to get some work done, so I’m sitting at the desk in my bedroom. The bedroom overlooks the parking lot of my apartment complex.

I look out the window to see a car pull up. In the front seat there is an adult of indeterminable sex, talking on a cell phone. The car stops. A Asian child, approximately eight years of age, gets out carrying a big bag of what looks like take out Chinese food. He walks up to my neighbors door. He knocks. The neighbors answer. The neighbors hand over money, the child hands over the food.

The child walks back to the car, gets back into the back seat, and hands the money to the person sitting in the front. The car drives away.

How fucking lazy do you have to be to send an eight year old child to deliver food while you sit in the car and watch? Is the economy so bad that parents are farming out their children to delivery companies? What the fuck is going on here?

Published on July 31, 2009 in Darwinism. 0 Comments

Food For Thought – Apple Crisp

“In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally.” – William Somerset Maugham

Continuing in my trend of making Alton Brown recipes, I tried his version of apple crisp. I love baked apples: apple pie, apple dumplings, apple danishes, you name it.

Ingredients

¾ C plain oatmeal
¾ C flour
2/3 C packed light brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
½ tsp ginger
Pinch of salt
1 stick of cold butter
Four tart apples

Directions

Blend the dry ingredients. Dice the butter into small squares and mix into the dry ingredients. Do not blend! The mixture should be clumpy.

Slice the tops and bottoms off of the apples and core them. Alton suggested this trick using a melon baller to core the apples and that worked out fantastically well for me.

Arrange the apples on a small baking dish so they are close to each other but not touching.

He poured honey into the bottom of the apple, then packed a handful of the filling on, then press another handful on top. I did that for two of the apples. Then I mixed some melted butter and brown sugar together and poured that into the bottom of the apple, then finished with the filling for the other two.

Bake at 350 for 40 minutes.

Published on July 29, 2009 in Food For Thought. 0 Comments

Scantily-Clad Feminism

“A bikini bottom is not much different from what we’re wearing. A few inches of flesh isn’t going to make a difference.” -David Epstein

Lots and lots of things make my brain hurt. Driving in DC, eating ice cream too fast, and this article.

The moral of the story is that Paula Marantz Cohen does not approve of bathing suits these days.
She claims:

“It’s not about vanity; it’s about modesty. Not about looking fat but about being naked.”

Yet she goes on to complain about big boobs and varicose veins and beer bellies.

Her bathing suit of choice?

“…a two-piece jersey ensemble complete with stockings (wonderful for camouflaging cellulite)…”

The problem here isn’t your bathing suit, it’s your self image. Take a page out of Kim Kardashian’s book and get over it.

And while it seems Paula here can use the internet for evil, she is unable to use it for good. She complains that you can only find a skirted bathing suit in a size 20 (according to her, the size of a small hippo). A quick Google of “modest bathing suits” returns 182,000 results. A cursory glance of the first pages indicates those are mostly results of companies that make and sell, if they have a good business model, modest bathing suits.

Her argument only gets more absurd when she whines about ballet dances and….football players wearing immodest clothing. It seems those pants are too tight for her taste. I’m personally a huge fan of ogling well-muscled butts (Steven Jackson anyone?) so the spandex doesn’t bother me. However, I would think anyone watching football would understand the need for tight fitting pants. It’s TACKLE football, lady.

She ends by declaring that:

“You’re naked, goddammit. You wouldn’t wear bra and panties outside the bedroom, so why will you wear even less in front of a bunch of strangers for the sole purpose of putting your toe in the water?”

For starters, I wear less than a bra and panties outside the bedroom and all over the place all the time. But more importantly, what makes her any better than Sarkozy?

You know what I think would be empowering? Letting me where whatever the hell I want. I like my bikini.

If you don’t want to wear a bikini, fine. Throw on some leggings and a tee shirt and come in. The water is fine.

Published on July 28, 2009 in Feminazism. 0 Comments

Quitting Your Religion

“Oh, life is bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me”
-REM Losing My Religion

I know I’m slightly late to the party on this one, but I’m going to celebrate it anyway.

Jimmy Carter has left the Southern Baptist Church due to it’s mistreatment of women.

His op-ed opens with:

“Women and girls have been discriminated against for too long in a twisted interpretation of the word of God.”

The whole piece is fantastic, but I especially liked this part:

“At its most repugnant, the belief that women must be subjugated to the wishes of men excuses slavery, violence, forced prostitution, genital mutilation and national laws that omit rape as a crime. But it also costs many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives, and continues to deny them fair access to education, health, employment and influence within their own communities.
The same discriminatory thinking lies behind the continuing gender gap in pay and why there are still so few women in office in the West. The root of this prejudice lies deep in our histories, but its impact is felt every day. It is not women and girls alone who suffer. It damages all of us. The evidence shows that investing in women and girls delivers major benefits for society. An educated woman has healthier children. She is more likely to send them to school. She earns more and invests what she earns in her family.”

Amen.

Published on July 27, 2009 in Feminazism and Sky Fairies. 0 Comments

A Republican I Can Believe In

“In fact, one thing that I have noticed . . . is that all of these conspiracy theories depend on the perpetrators being endlessly clever. I think you’ll find the facts also work if you assume everyone is endlessly stupid.” -Unknown

I find conspiracy theorists a fascinating bunch. I personally subscribe to the theory of Occam’s Razor also known as common fucking sense.

Like the faked moon landing people and the faked 9-11 (or it was an inside job) people and the flat Earth people (YES PEOPLE STILL FUCKING BELIEVE THAT), “birthers” are a special brand of crazy. These would be the people who claim Obama isn’t an American citizen/is ineligible to be president.

All “claims” that these people crazies have made have been debunked. However, evidence does little to deter conspiracy theorists nut jobs.

Although I went with the link to the Wikipedia page on “birther,” Urban Dictionary has some rather fantastic definitions including:

“A conspiracy theorist who believes that Barack Obama is ineligible for the Presidency of the United States, based on any number of claims related to his place of birth, birth certificate, favorite birthday, or whether or not he has heard the song Africa by Toto.”

Anyway, this post isn’t about the birthers. (Because they are crazy and will probably attack me for posting anything about them. BTW, if I disappear after this post goes up, you know what happened. Hey birthers, if you’re reading, don’t think that because I’m a liberal I don’t know how to use guns. I do.)

This post is about Mike Castle R-DE. Rep. Castle faced one of these nut jobs and did something amazing. He said some shit that made sense.

He tells this woman, after listening to her insane tirade, “Well I don’t know what comment that invites. If you’re referring to the president, then he is a citizen of the United States.”

And when the crowd boos, he says, “You can boo, but he is a citizen of the United States.”

Yay for good Republicans!

(This post is dedicated to my dad. A good Republican.)

Published on July 23, 2009 in The Gentle Art of Making Enemies. 0 Comments

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Monthly Archive for July, 2009