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All Kale All The Time

My roommate has talked me into doing a “cleanse” for spring. Essentially, stop eating anything fun.

Kale. Lots of kale.

Kale. Lots of kale.

During the next four weeks, I will be consuming no caffeine, no alcohol, no meat, no dairy and no added salt or sugar.

Week One: Fruits and Vegetables Only
Week Two: Plus Beans and Nuts
Week Three: Plus Eggs
Week Four: Plus Whole Grains

I don’t especially buy into the health arguments for such a diet. I don’t think it’s going to get rid of any free radicals or cleanse my organs. I do think it will do two things. One, confine me to the house because I can’t eat anything, I can’t go to the bar and I will generally hate everyone and everything. And two, it will help me a bit more creative with my cooking.

I’m hoping with all the time I’m not spending at the bar, I’ll get my book edited. Also, I will have plenty of time to work on my book from jail, after I smother my roommate in her sleep with a cauliflower.

  • Aukej

    I’m starting a blog called “cleanse survival techniques” in which I detail the creative ways I’ve been almost killed by my psycho underfed roommate.

  • Aukje

    Also, I don’t know how to spell my own name, apparently.

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