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Archive for the 'Feminazism' Category

Gender Diverse Friendships

A friend tells me the other day that she doesn’t think, in most cases, that men and women can be friends. It came up in the context of a discussion about how her boyfriend would be upset if she had a male roommate. And I found both of these things rather surprising.

I’ve watched enough sitcoms to know that the sentiment exists but I think I’d forgotten that actual people feel that way. Essentially because I know plenty of people, men and women alike, who have platonic relationships with people of all genders. I have several close male friends who would never want to sleep with me. And most of my close have other-gendered friends with no prospect of romantic relationships.


And don’t give me this baloney about “Of course they say they won’t sleep with you.” Just because you secretly want to sleep with all of your female friends doesn’t mean that every other man on the planet wants to.

The fact is, men and women really aren’t that different, despite what sitcoms say. When studied, much stereotypical behavior attributed to men or women often shows up in both genders are similar rates. We just remember when women do a bad job parking and men refuse to apologize. It’s called confirmation bias.

Men aren’t raging sexual beasts that have to stick their dick into every vagina that crosses their path. Not every male-female relationship (when both parties are heterosexual) has an underlying sexual tension. We can, in fact, all be friends.

The Chicken Or The Egg

Author John Scalzi is pretty well know on the internets for being fairly pro-feminism, anti-misogyny, and an all around pretty great guy. He recently posted his list of the top 10 science fiction and fantasy works that mean the most to him. Here’s his list:

Always Coming Home, Ursula Le Guinalways1985
The Dark is Rising Sequence, by Susan Cooper
Dune, by Frank Herbert
Fall of Hyperion, by Dan Simmons
Grass, by Sheri S. Tepper
Perdido Street Station, by China Miéville
Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson
Speaker For the Dead, by Orson Scott Card
Time Enough For Love, by Robert Heinlein
Winter’s Tale, by Mark Helprin

Science fiction is often a boys club. There are tons of lists of 25/100/whatever best science fiction books where women authors don’t crack the top 10 (or 15 or 20.) So is Scalzi a feminist because he was strongly influenced by women’s writing? Or was he strongly influenced by women’s writing because he was a feminist?

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