Scantily-Clad Feminism

“A bikini bottom is not much different from what we’re wearing. A few inches of flesh isn’t going to make a difference.” -David Epstein

Lots and lots of things make my brain hurt. Driving in DC, eating ice cream too fast, and this article.

The moral of the story is that Paula Marantz Cohen does not approve of bathing suits these days.
She claims:

“It’s not about vanity; it’s about modesty. Not about looking fat but about being naked.”

Yet she goes on to complain about big boobs and varicose veins and beer bellies.

Her bathing suit of choice?

“…a two-piece jersey ensemble complete with stockings (wonderful for camouflaging cellulite)…”

The problem here isn’t your bathing suit, it’s your self image. Take a page out of Kim Kardashian’s book and get over it.

And while it seems Paula here can use the internet for evil, she is unable to use it for good. She complains that you can only find a skirted bathing suit in a size 20 (according to her, the size of a small hippo). A quick Google of “modest bathing suits” returns 182,000 results. A cursory glance of the first pages indicates those are mostly results of companies that make and sell, if they have a good business model, modest bathing suits.

Her argument only gets more absurd when she whines about ballet dances and….football players wearing immodest clothing. It seems those pants are too tight for her taste. I’m personally a huge fan of ogling well-muscled butts (Steven Jackson anyone?) so the spandex doesn’t bother me. However, I would think anyone watching football would understand the need for tight fitting pants. It’s TACKLE football, lady.

She ends by declaring that:

“You’re naked, goddammit. You wouldn’t wear bra and panties outside the bedroom, so why will you wear even less in front of a bunch of strangers for the sole purpose of putting your toe in the water?”

For starters, I wear less than a bra and panties outside the bedroom and all over the place all the time. But more importantly, what makes her any better than Sarkozy?

You know what I think would be empowering? Letting me where whatever the hell I want. I like my bikini.

If you don’t want to wear a bikini, fine. Throw on some leggings and a tee shirt and come in. The water is fine.