We Can’t All Be Webster

“Words — so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.” -Nathaniel Hawthorne

If you spent any sort of time with me, shared an office with me, been in a car with me, woken up in my house, you know that I have NPR on all the time. And that I frequently yell at it. It’s often wrong and needs to be told it’s bad.
Look, I try to not write people off entirely as incompetent baboons who aren’t worthy of breathing my air, but frankly, sometimes it’s true. There are a number of groups like this. People who think the Earth is flat. Holocaust deniers. Anyone who argues that either racism or sexism no longer exist in our society. Young Earth creationists. If you believe these things, please don’t ever talk to me. I’m not advocating rounding you and your idiot friends up and dropping you off in Antarctica in Speedos (though I may fantasize about it.) I am advocating that we just don’t talk to each other.
I’ve decided to add another group to that list. Anyone who doesn’t understand the difference between fascist, communist, and socialist.
I’m going to take this opportunity to provide you a primer on the subject. You should read that whole article (because it’s amusing) but here are the cliff notes:
Facism:
a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition.

Socialism:
1. any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods
2 a: a system of society or group living in which there is no private property b: a system or condition of society in which the means of production are owned and controlled by the state

3. a stage of society in Marxist theory transitional between capitalism and communism and distinguished by unequal distribution of goods and pay according to work done

Communism:
1 a: a theory advocating elimination of private property b: a system in which goods are owned in common and are available to all as needed
2 a: a doctrine based on revolutionary Marxian socialism and Marxism-Leninism that was the official ideology of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics b: a totalitarian system of government in which a single authoritarian party controls state-owned means of production c: a final stage of society in Marxist theory in which the state has withered away and economic goods are distributed equitably d: communist systems collectively

If you can’t keep this straight, please cross to the other side of the street when you see me coming.
And don’t fucking vote.