Why Did I Engage?

“It all starts with the simplest of gestures: Your hollaback.” –Hollaback website

I’ve posted a whole host of “Bad Romance” messages that I’ve received on dating sites. Typically I  never respond to these inquests. What am I supposed to say? “You’re a freak.” “Your grammar is terrible.” “HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT THIS MESSAGE IS GOING TO GET YOU ANYWHERE WITH A WOMAN?”

After receiving an uninteresting but innocuous message on a dating site, I checked the profile and decided I wasn’t interested in this particular gentleman. It wasn’t anything that really stood out, just a combination of factors that put me off a bit. He only had one picture, in which he was in shadow. He mentioned that he thought about sex a lot. Normally, I’d simply delete the message and move on with life.

This guy, however, happened to IM me as I was in the middle of checking out his profile. I figured I’d give him the courtesy of saying “Thanks but no thanks.” That was a mistake.

I politely told him that while he seemed nice, I wasn’t interested and I hoped he had a good evening. He countered with wanting to know why I wasn’t interested. I responded with the bland “You’re not my type” and again wished him a good evening. Then he started to argue. He wanted to know why he wasn’t my type. He then argued with my responses. He got combative. I told him I didn’t care his opinion on the matter, blocked him, and logged off.

This sort of garbage happens all the time. You turn down a guy hitting you on the street and he calls you a stuck up bitch. Reject the drink the guy at the other end of the bar sends and suddenly you’re a fat cow. This asshole thinks that he’s entitled to argue with me about whether or not I’m interested in him. At least this bullshit happened over a somewhat anonymous dating site, where I could block him and not have to worry about my personal safety. (I was responding to this verbal assault while laying in bed next to my Pitt – Rott mix.)

Guys, look – if a girl says she’s not interested, arguing with her about it is not going to help your case. If you can’t take no for an answer about a date or a drink, then you can’t be trusted to take no for an answer in other situations.