“There is no ‘one size fits all’” -Juan Somavia
I never really read advice columns. I never have. Until I discovered Dan Savage, I pretty much thought all relationship advice was bogus. Now I think all of it except for Dan Savage is bogus. Yet I keep finding these examples, over and over, of terrible relationship advice. I’ve written about it a lot. And here’s another one.
Marie Claire is back with more shitty relationship advice. The magazine asked a male and female writer to comment on what texting means in a relationship. The guy’s answer is rather reasonable. He concludes with this:
“At the beginning of a relationship, first impressions can certainly be ruined by poorly conceived texts. Words, when used thoughtfully, can evoke powerful emotional responses in people. Next time you send a text, make sure it’s not just making conversation or replacing what should be a phone call. Messages should be used to elevate conversation. If you can do this, chances are that women will appreciate it, text you back, and look forward to hearing from you.”
Makes complete sense. Texting is another form of communication. Use it wisely. The only thing I wish that he would add is that not all people are the same, and that you’ll have to feel out your partner to see how they feel on the subject. Because I’m very forward, I’ll just tell people I meet that if you don’t text, this isn’t going to work out. I’ve had guys picking me up at the bar just ask whether I prefer to be called or texted.
Then we get to the female response.
She starts with:
“Dating is all about getting personal, and texting is by far the most impersonal method of communication — a girl can’t derive any useful personality traits from a “S’up?” text.”
I’m certainly not denying that texting is less personal than other forms of communication, but as she said, dating is about getting personal, not being as personal as possible right away.
Furthermore, dude, not all texts are “S’up?” The dude who previously answered the question mentioned sending a girl a text that says “Thinking of you.” What person (girl or boy) isn’t going to enjoy that?
The whole question is badly framed. The entire male gender doesn’t have an opinion on texting, and neither does the entire female gender. I way prefer texting over talking. I know other girls who do too. I know guys who love to talk on the phone. But the female response is exceptionally embarrassing.