Hiney Flu

“Nature abhors a moron.” -Henry Louis Mencken

Swine Flu, which is now to be called “H1N1” Flu (so the piggie farmers don’t get upset and I think H1N1 looks like “hiney”) has caused MASS CHAOS. OMG. OMG!!!!1111eleven.

Even Diane Rehm, whom I normally love, has seemingly jumped into the crazy porking flu madness. Today she did another show on the flu and she kept asking the fucking doctors if you could catch the flu from pork.

No. You. Can’t.

Perhaps I’m just THAT much smarter than your average person* or perhaps I’m just better able to utilize Google, but the CDC and Wikipedia and every doctor has said you can’t catch it from eating pork.

I realize that most people are stupid, so this issue has to be addressed. But don’t ask this as if it is a legitimate question. Do not give credence to the morons who think this. Do your research, Diane, and say “Again, I just want to make this clear, you cannot contract H1N1 from eating pork, correct doctor?” And the doctor says “That is correct Diane.”

*I am.

P.S. 90 people get swine flu and everyone wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom. H/T Brit

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