“My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked.” -Winston Churchill
Brit wrote a post awhile about about homewrecking. Her post more focused on the misogynist perception of the woman as a homewrecker. I wanted to comment on something tangential.
I don’t think there is such a thing as a homewrecker*. No one outside your relationship “wrecks” it for you.
If your significant other cheats, there was something wrong with the relationship in the first place. I’m not saying you did something wrong (which was discussed on Brit’s post), but that something in the relationship was wrong. That something could be that your partner is a nymphomaniac who is unable to control their own actions. Or it could be that they are totally dissatisfied with you that they seek attention elsewhere.
Regardless of the d-bag status of your partner, the other person isn’t at fault. Even if they knew your partner was in a relationship.
Perhaps it’s my deep down love for capitalism that brings me to this conclusion. I see it like this. You and your partner’s relationship is like a business. If your business is good, another business (person) can’t come along and drive you into bankruptcy. However, if your business sucks, another business can move in across the street and put you out of business.
*Please note that there is always the “extremely psychotic person only ever found in Lifetime movies” exemption. By which I mean, there are totally bat shit crazy people who might develop an obsession with one member of a couple and stalk them until it destroys the relationship, see “The Orphan” for an example.