Just Set It On Fire

A long time ago, when I lived in DC, I used to pal around with a male friend of mine who was gay. And he had this fabulous app for his phone called Grindr. It’s a dating app with an extremely short profile (basically a few photos and a few sentences). It was almost exclusively used for hook ups.


I thought this was the best thing ever and I desperately wanted one for straight people.

Imagine. No muss, no fuss. No crafting long messages. No answering a thousand questions. Just some brief info and a photo. Pretty much all the information you’d have about someone before talking to them at a bar.

I got single and got my wish. Tinder now exists.

And it is the worst.

Tinder tried. Your profile is connected to your Facebook account so you have to use your real (or at least Facebook real) name. You also must use photos from your Facebook so no unsolicited dick pics.

The usability is simple. Set your very basic parameters (age, location) and then swipe left or right depending on whether or not you’re interested. If the other person likes you too, you get a notification of a match.

After two weeks of using it and nothing even remotely close to even a spark of interest, I deleted the app. The fundamental problem? Everyone.

Because you can’t sort by anything other than age and location, you get a huge swath of people who would get filtered out of any other site. I can’t sort out people with kids, for example. Since there’s no profile information, you can’t get any indication of whether or not this person is even worth chatting with. On other sites, I’d skip over a profile with lolspeak. With Tinder, I have to actually talk to them before discovering their excessive use of emoticons.

My time is valuable. I don’t want to spent a significant amount of time chatting with someone only to discover they hate dogs. And I don’t want to spend the time (and money) to repeatedly go on first (and last) dates.

What I thought was going to be my dating savior turned out to be my dating nightmare. Have you used Tinder? What’s your experience?

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