Metro Gets A Tiny Clue

“I was a young person once, shortly after the polar ice caps retreated, and I distinctly recall believing that virtually all adults were clueless goobers.” -Dave Barry

This is an awesome idea.

Like the town it’s located in, the DC metro system is stuffy, over-priced, and utterly lacking in character and fun. The idea that we have carpeting on fucking PUBLIC transit is beyond comprehension to me. That’s like carpeting goddamn the sidewalk.

I’ve been on public transit in nearly every major American city. I’ve been on public transit in nearly every major European city. I’ve been on public transit in India for god’s sake. I spent 30 hours on a train on which the bathroom was a hole. In the floor. Over the tracks. And the DC metro system continues to take the cake for its utter sucktasticness.

The NYC subway has all kinds of stands and vendors in its stations. I realize it will take ten years for the powers to be of Metro to get their heads out of their asses and accept eating and drinking on the trains, but just being able to purchase munchies and bottled water would be an excellent first step. I’d like to be able to purchase beer (like you can in Berlin. And then drink it at 9AM) but I’m not holding my breath.

My suggestions for some stores to put in a Metro station:

  • A 7-11 type convenience store.
  • Dry cleaners.
  • A pharmacy.
  • A stand that sells umbrellas and cheap flip flops (which I would be purchasing every Fri night after the bar.)
  • A flower stand.An Apple/electronics type store. (There are def days when I would buy an Ipod charger after I left mine at home. Or laptop charger.)
  • An actual bank.

I’m sure there are way more ideas. Charge rent to the tenant for the use of the space and Metro is on its way to sucking slightly less. Just slightly.

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