New Year’s Resolutions

“Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.” -Eric Zorn

These aren’t all resolutions per se. Some are things I want to accomplish or things I plan to do. But it will be nice to have a list to look back on in a year to see what I have accomplished.

First, using Bedposted. I plan to keep track of every sexual encounter I have during 2010. Hopefully, I’ll gain some interesting insight into my sexual habits. The site will let you keep track of your sexual partners, each sexual act (including masturbation), and all sorts of interesting stats.

Secondly, learn how to roll a joint. I have no idea how I got to this age and can’t roll a fucking joint.

I keep trying and I keep failing, so number three is to make a perfect red velvet cake. My previous attempts have been epic, epic failures. My grandmother has offered to give me remedial training.

After watching The Rape Of Europa last night, another goal of mine for 2010 is to watch more documentaries. The only current one on my list is The Nine Lives Of Marion Berry. I’m taking suggestions!

Finally, I want to run a 10K. I’ve never run in a race before. Ultimately, I want to run a marathon, but I’m going to get my feet wet with a 10K.

Those are the big ones. I’m always striving to be a better person, be more selfless, be more efficient, learn new things, and to try to not hate humanity so much.

The last one never happens.

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