The Gays

“It’s better to be black than gay because when you’re black you don’t have to tell your mother.” -Charles Pierce

I have to disagree with LZ Ganderson. I think there is a gay lifestyle, and I think it’s exactly what those on the right have been hollering about.

Let’s be clear: the “gay lifestyle” does not refer to the entirety of gay people under the LGBT rainbow. Lesbians, for example, are generally exempt. Everyone knows the old joke “What does a lesbian bring to a second date? A U-Haul.” No, the scary gay lifestyle refers to gay men.

Look, we know men are less likely to be monogamous than women. Read Sperm Wars. We already know that men have a biological drive to paint as many cervices (cervixes? cervii?) as possible with their baby batter. And we know women have an incentive to lasso a man and make sure he takes care of her and her children. Since there is no biological lassoing partner in the gay equation, there is less incentive for the gays to just stick their penii into only one person.

However, I think there is more to the “gay lifestyle” than just biological urges. Once you confess to participating in (what is perceived to be) some of the most taboo and perverse sexual acts, I think it’s pretty easy to shrug off society’s perceptions of other sexual acts. And no, this doesn’t mean I think gay men fuck chickens.

By coming out of the closet, a person who is gay has already said “fuck society.” A person has disregarded what society deems to be an “appropriate relationship”, meaning a heterosexual relationship where both parties wait for sex until marriage, only participate in “vanilla” sexual activities, have a few kids, and then retire to Florida. Once you throw off the yoke of propriety, other options come on the table. We already know men are less likely to value sexual monogamy, so why force yourself? Or hey, let’s try out that BDSM club.

Now, just because men may have a biological need to spread their seed does not excuse cheating or dangerous behavior, nor does it mean that gays can’t control themselves.
Nor does it mean that gay men can’t get gay married, adopt a couple of kids, and basically emulate Leave It To Beaver. And just because that’s what the breeders do, doesn’t mean that’s what the gays should do.

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