The Top Five Reasons Conservatives Can’t Complain About Wanda

“An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.” –Michael Korda

Wanda Sykes did the White House Correspondents dinner this year. And ever since Colbert got up there and said mean things about Little Bush, those on the Right seem to get their panties in a bunch about the jokes. This year is no exception.

Apparently, she went too far when she suggested that Rush Limbaugh’s kidneys might fail. Which leads me to my first reason.

5. Rush Limbaugh hoped the President would fail.

“I know what his [Obama’s] politics are. I know what his plans are, as he has stated them. I don’t want them to succeed.”

4. Pat Robertson thinks feminists want to eat their children.

Feminism “is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

3. Ann Coulter thinks women shouldn’t vote.

“If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president. It’s kind of a pipe dream, it’s a personal fantasy of mine, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women.”

2. Glenn Beck wants to kill Michael Moore, even though Jesus wouldn’t approve.

“I’m thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I’m wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out — is this wrong? I stopped wearing my What Would Jesus — band — Do, and I’ve lost all sense of right and wrong now. I used to be able to say, “Yeah, I’d kill Michael Moore,” and then I’d see the little band: What Would Jesus Do? And then I’d realize, “Oh, you wouldn’t kill Michael Moore. Or at least you wouldn’t choke him to death.” And you know, well, I’m not sure.”

1. Bill O’Reily wishes everyone at the UN building was dead.

“I just wish Katrina had only hit the United Nations building, nothing else, just had flooded them out. And I wouldn’t have rescued them.”

And unlike Wanda Sykes, these people aren’t fucking comedians.

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